What Is Emotional Intelligence In Coaching?

For many coaches in grassroots and youth football, much of the focus is on developing technical ability, game understanding, and physical fitness.

And while that is clearly important, an often-overlooked factor that significantly influences coaching effectiveness and player development is Emotional Intelligence, or EI.

If you’ve ever found yourself struggling to stay calm during a frustrating game, navigating a tricky conversation with a player, or trying to understand what’s really going on behind a young player’s attitude or body language, then you’ve already felt the importance of EI in action.

What Is Emotional Intelligence?

Emotional Intelligence is the ability to recognise, understand, and manage your own emotions, while also being able to identify and influence the emotions of others.

The most widely used framework, developed by psychologist Daniel Goleman, breaks EI into four key competencies:

Self-Awareness
Understanding your own emotional state and how it affects your thoughts and behaviour.

Self-Management
Controlling emotional impulses and staying composed, even under pressure.

Social Awareness
Sensing the emotions of others and understanding group dynamics.

Relationship Management
Building strong relationships, managing conflict, and leading with empathy and clarity.

Why Is Emotional Intelligence Important for Coaches?

As a soccer coach, your ability to manage your emotions directly impacts the environment you create.

Whether it's handling a disappointing performance, navigating conflict with officials or parents, or supporting players through challenges, your emotional intelligence plays a central role.

Emotionally intelligent coaches:

Model calmness and control in high-pressure moments.
Create psychologically safe environments where players can thrive.
Build deeper, more trusting relationships with their teams.
Inspire performance by understanding what drives and challenges each individual.

When a coach is emotionally intelligent, their players are more likely to feel understood, supported, and motivated.

Why Should Players Be Emotionally Intelligent?

Young players often face emotional highs and lows through things like pressure, fear of failure, frustration, and moments of triumph.

Helping players become aware of these emotional states allows them to:

Perform more consistently under pressure.
Communicate better with teammates and coaches.
Bounce back from setbacks with greater resilience.
Build stronger team relationships.

Just as we teach players to scan the field and make decisions, we can also teach them to 'scan' their emotional landscape and choose more productive responses.

How Can Coaches Develop Emotional Intelligence For Themselves and Their Players?

The good news? Emotional Intelligence is a skill. Like dribbling or pressing, it can be developed through reflection and practice.

Here’s how you can begin:

1. Start With Yourself

Reflect regularly: What triggered your emotions in the last session or match? How did you respond?
Use a coaching journal to note moments when emotions helped or hindered your decisions.
Pause before reacting: Use simple breathing techniques or positive self-talk during tense moments.

2. Be a Role Model

Players will mimic how you respond to pressure, conflict, and success.
Stay composed, respectful, and empathetic, even when decisions go against you.

3. Foster EI in Your Team

Talk about emotions: After games or training, ask players how they felt and why.
Encourage empathy: Help players understand how teammates might be feeling in different situations.
Normalise mistakes: Emphasise learning and growth over blame and criticism.

4. Use Everyday Moments

A disagreement in training? A chance to teach conflict resolution.
A nervous player? An opportunity to build confidence through connection and support.

Key Takeaways for Soccer Coaches

Emotional Intelligence is as important as tactics and technique.

Your emotional state influences how your players think, feel, and perform.

EI helps build better teams, deeper trust, and more resilient players.

Coaches who reflect, stay composed, and build relationships set the tone for long-term success.

Want To Go Deeper? Learn More With MiMentor

Understanding Emotional Intelligence is just the beginning.

Our 'Introduction to Emotional Intelligence' course on the MiMentor platform is designed specifically for grassroots and youth soccer coaches. You’ll explore each element of EI, reflect on your own behaviours, and discover practical strategies to apply with your team.

Ready to become a more emotionally intelligent coach—and help your players thrive on and off the pitch?